Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I SHRUNK THE SHRINK

was having some trouble
so my doctor
sent me to a shrink

when I walked in
and sat down
after the introduction
I was already uncomfortable

this shrink was maybe 10 years younger
than me
I needed to talk to somebody
who knew it all
lived it all
somebody like God
who had all the answers

but there I was
and there he was
maybe 10 years younger than me

Give it a try
Miracles do happen

I told him I was having
some trouble with myself

some compulsive obsessive behaviour on my part
that was messing me around

I described it to him
that when I was sober I was O.K.
but when I had just one beer
the trouble started brewing up in me
next beer…I could feel it going
out of control
third and fourth beer, ah well
I was really skidding around
frantic to satisfy this obsession

He calmly explained
that a large amount of people
were
driven by substances too

I said “Doc, are you calling me a man of substance?”

He said not to be frivolous

On my way out I cancelled my second appointment, and never made another

I went straight from that R230 per hour consultation
to the Crowbar in Waterkant street in town and started
on the beer
I also gulped down barrels and barrels of laughter
with Alan the barman
Then and there I appointed him
to be my shrink

He promised to do his best.

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